Picture this.
You’re back in prehistoric times, where humans still had to regularly go off into the woods to hunt and gather for food and other resources. You enter the forest, spear in one hand, basket in the other, to begin your search.
You go deep into the forest. It’s mildly familiar, you know where you are headed, but you’re alone. You come across a very large bush, sprawling out thickly between some trees, and suddenly it starts rustling, moving as though there could be something big about to come out from behind or inside of it. You have the thought that this could be a bear, or some other creature that could cause you an intense amount of harm.
What do you do?
Whatever you choose, that is an example of a fear response. Most people are familiar with the concept of fight vs. flight. But there are actually many ways that people respond to fear, uncertainty, or other emotions that can be difficult to tolerate. And in many cases, this is so incredibly helpful! It was through these actions that our ancestors were able to survive long enough to eventually pass their genes on to us and it’s how we know to avoid walking down a dark alleyway or brace ourselves to defend a loved one from harm
The problem is, many of these fear responses can be very out of proportion to the actual situation at hand. And sometimes these fear responses can become so prevalent or invasive that they meet clinical criteria for a mental health disorder, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Spotting what fear responses you engage in can be useful in giving you the option of deciding whether or not it is something helpful (or not helpful!) for you to engage in. Recognizing that you have a choice in how you respond to the feared or uncomfortable situation is one of the most empowering things a person can do. So without further adieu, here are some examples.
Fight
Your first reaction may be to fight the bear. Position your spear towards it and start yelling at it, advancing towards it, feeling that if you were to do anything else you would be in even more danger.
This can show up in today’s world by getting into arguments with the people around you, or lashing out when you are feeling particularly stressed. You might also feel urges to punch something or someone when these kinds of feelings show up.
Flight
Another reaction might be to run away from the bear. Create as much distance between you and the dangerous situation as possible, and just avoid any possibility of even coming in contact with it.
This can show up by avoidance of various conflicts or any sort of situation that brings discomfort. An example might be not trying things that are new to you out of fear they could be scary. Another example could be walking away from a person you had an argument with, rather than staying to work things out.
Freeze
If you react with a freeze response, you might fully stop moving. Every inch of you is frozen, hoping that the bear’s attention will be on something else and it’s eyes will simply slide over you and miss you entirely.
A person who regularly experiences the freeze response might dissociate often from stressful situations, or have their mind go blank and have trouble speaking when they are stressed. It may also be very difficult for them to make decisions, leading to avoidance of making various choices.
Fawn
A person with a fawn response may act as non-threatening as possible towards the bear. They might curl up to be as small as possible, and make it clear that there is no possible danger that they pose to the bear’s life.
This response often shows up as people-pleasing behaviors. Someone may want to avoid upsetting people at all costs, or fear the idea of someone not liking them. They may want to “avoid rocking the boat” in various situations and not try to make too many waves.
Figure It Out
A person who uses this response may attempt to consider the situation from every possible angle. They analyze what the precise chances are that there could be a bear coming out from behind the bush, and think about all the potential responses the situation could require.
This may come up in today’s world as a person who is constantly ruminating on their decisions, overthinking all of their actions and various situations in their lives. It may lead to them always feeling the need to be in control of the situation or their own feelings, regardless of how realistic this may be.
If you are interested in learning more about your own fear responses, we at Compassionate Healing are happy to help. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.
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